2014 The Year Where I’ll Do Everything

There are so many things I want to do with my life. Depending on the day if you ask me, “What would you like to do with your life?” I might provide you with a different answer. Last month I decided to stop waiting on the perfect conditions to make things happen with my life. I started by selling my natural products and developing my own brand Devine Organics  and of course this journey isn’t easy. I’m putting myself out there, I’m trying to figure out who I want to be, and what stories I want to share.

I’ve also decided to continue writing but I’ll also start sharing my stories on this blog. I want this blog to include more if my life. I want to share more not just health or natural beauty. I’m not sure which day of the week it will be but I’m going to start weekly creative writing posts. It could be a story or a writing exercise I’m using and want to share.

There’s so much to do and I can’t wait anymore.

The smile

English: Stick figure with eyes and smile

English: Stick figure with eyes and smile (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This was written yesterday. I found a prompt that said “The most beautiful smile,” and I went from there.  Let me know what you think.

The most beautiful smile I ever saw belonged to a cancer. A tall drink of water. He stood 6′ 3″ with the big olive green eyes, dark brown hair cut short, and a slim build. I saw the smile first it just lit up his face. I wasn’t too concerned with him before that smile, that smile was for me. It was the smile of man happy to see his wife after a long day at work, the smile of someone so happy to see you it lights up their face.

I know I returned the smile because I could feel the heat from cheeks as they came to rest under my eyes. I knew my smile was big more like a grin. I couldn’t help but return the smile. As I got closer to him I recognition hit.

“Hey!” I said a little out of breath from my brisk pace.

“Hi,” He said back in a cooler tone.

Where did I know him from? Did he recognize me too? Why was he so calm? He must’ve forgotten who I was maybe he was just saying “hi” to be nice. I continue my walk and my phone conversation half listening as I rack my brain trying to figure out who he is and when we met.

Then it hit me. I listened to my friend ramble on about all the fun we were going to have that night. She had no idea that I had already ditched our night in my head. I had made plans in case she flaked on my again and my mind had finally got things straight. I knew where that smile was from and it was for me. We had unfinished business. We were destined to meet again.

Fear, The Motivator

Fear can be the greatest motivator. I’ve let fear hold me back for quite some time. Ever since I can remember I’ve been reading and writing. I’ve always walked around carrying books. One to write in and one to read. I’ve always loved to create my own world and get lost in worlds that others have created. I’ve also loved science not exactly related but I loved it nonetheless. It is now that I am thinking over my life do I realize that I’ve held this fear that writing should be a secret love while I keep my love for science out in the open.

I’ve been under the impression that I couldn’t be a successful writer. As much as I love post on this blog and as much as I love to create my own stories.  Fear was the motivator for me to pursue science in college and not creative writing as I wanted to. Fear is the reason why I have yet to post a complete story since my first and only complete story was published.  Fear kept me scared that my dreams could change and I wasn’t prepared for that.

I’m working to overcome that fear. I want to start posting more creative pieces on this blog along with my health posts. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m changing the site. I am changing but I’m not take away from anything. I’m just adding to it.

I’m not afraid to say I’m not sure what my dreams are. I would love to get my PhD in Chemical Engineering but I would also love to have the freedom of a writer. I have a lot of work to do and a lot to think about.

Book Fears.

I’m not sure where exactly to start with my book. I don’t know anything about anything. I feel like I used to in elementary school when my mom would buy me a new book to write in. I would just stare at the page wondering how I’m going to fill it. Now there’s Microsoft Word and the dreaded page and word count. How many pages am I writing? Who are these people? What is my target audience. My biggest fear is that I’ll spend all this time on a book and I’ll have no audience or worse one person will read it and hate it. I write because it makes me feel better but will someone else read it and love it or read it and hate it? People can be so mean especially when they don’t know you. Wish me luck anyway I’m starting my book and I was hoping for a word or two of encouragement.

How do you start a great story with no motivation?

I have never been able to consistently write when I’m in a good mood. When I was in middle school I could write everyday because I was so “sad” and most of the things I wrote about then are so trivial now. I have at least six beginnings to stories but no middle and no end. I want to start working on a book or a collection of short stories. I can’t do that with no material but I can’t have new material with no motivation. I love when I finish stories but it is so freaking hard to get started. Sheesh! I’m always worried about it being so much like something else that I kill every idea I have before I even put pen to paper. I’ve come up with an idea for writers block. I’m pretty sure it’s not new and I’m not claiming rights.

1. If you have a writer friend get them involved, it’s much easier to go at this with a partner.

2. Start working on something, anything today.

3. Pick a day where you submit your work to each other and also you have to agree upon a minimum or maximum length.

4. Do this every week until you have your poem, story, or book.

If this helps let me know. I’ll be doing the same thing starting today. I have a writer friend named Katie and our reign of zero motivation has come to an end.