2014 The Year Where I’ll Do Everything

There are so many things I want to do with my life. Depending on the day if you ask me, “What would you like to do with your life?” I might provide you with a different answer. Last month I decided to stop waiting on the perfect conditions to make things happen with my life. I started by selling my natural products and developing my own brand Devine Organics  and of course this journey isn’t easy. I’m putting myself out there, I’m trying to figure out who I want to be, and what stories I want to share.

I’ve also decided to continue writing but I’ll also start sharing my stories on this blog. I want this blog to include more if my life. I want to share more not just health or natural beauty. I’m not sure which day of the week it will be but I’m going to start weekly creative writing posts. It could be a story or a writing exercise I’m using and want to share.

There’s so much to do and I can’t wait anymore.

Advertisements

A “Stroke” of Stupidity

This is an opinion piece written by a friend of mine.

A “Stroke” of Stupidity

By: Moe P. Hodge

I’ve been having this thought, opinion in my mind, from recent conversations and interactions I have been having with my peers. I’m not trying to be holier than someone, I’m just seeing it from my own viewpoints

I just feel as though, with our generation today, the idea or the need of sex is held over many a person’s head, or very prioritized over many other qualities and traits, and that it’s kind of wrong/weird.

I’ve seen people contemplate, if not stay into relations with cheaters and those of abusive tendencies due to good ‘relations’. I’ve seen people basically become living sex toys for the sake of good ‘relations’. I’ve seen people put themselves in precarious situations all for a shot at relations, and it’s…meh, I don’t know

You can never really win either with being judged as well, whether or not you “get it in”. There never seems to be a right number to be agreed upon, in terms of lack of judgement. If you’ve never gotten it in, you’re critiqued for being square, or being undesirable, and ostracized for that perceived fault. If you’ve even done it once, let alone have had many a partner, it can always be reasoned (potentially faulty logic and all) that one could be considered the infamous, deadly H-word.

Another thing I’ve noticed in my time, is that the idea/use of Celibacy isn’t really used for Celibacy’s sake in our age/day. It almost seems as if Celibacy is code word for many different things, but the actual term for celibacy.

“I’ve been fucking so much, I need to take a break, until I’m not tired anymore”

“Damn, I got played out after getting into relations, let me take a break, until I fall in ‘love’ again”

“Damn, I don’t want to find a new joint to get down with, let me take a break, and if I happen to stumble into love, it’s done”

…What happened to the living outside the flesh part of the thing!? The spiritual aspect of things!?

Who am I to tell someone how to live their life? I’m not trying to shade the masses, lord knows I’ve done some of these things I’m writing about. Different strokes for different folks, get it how you fit in (no pun intended, if any was in there). It just seems as though it is overvalued to the point of becoming a negative in the minds of today.

If you have not dealt with problems such as these, more power to to you, stroke away/let your pum pum turn up (or whatever these young kids call it nowadays). Either way, I do thank you for reading my second attempt at a blog article, and remember…

(Insert Sex Pun here)

Thank you

How to contact the author;

Email: MomoluDHodge@gmail.com

Twitter

Facebook

The smile

English: Stick figure with eyes and smile

English: Stick figure with eyes and smile (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This was written yesterday. I found a prompt that said “The most beautiful smile,” and I went from there.  Let me know what you think.

The most beautiful smile I ever saw belonged to a cancer. A tall drink of water. He stood 6′ 3″ with the big olive green eyes, dark brown hair cut short, and a slim build. I saw the smile first it just lit up his face. I wasn’t too concerned with him before that smile, that smile was for me. It was the smile of man happy to see his wife after a long day at work, the smile of someone so happy to see you it lights up their face.

I know I returned the smile because I could feel the heat from cheeks as they came to rest under my eyes. I knew my smile was big more like a grin. I couldn’t help but return the smile. As I got closer to him I recognition hit.

“Hey!” I said a little out of breath from my brisk pace.

“Hi,” He said back in a cooler tone.

Where did I know him from? Did he recognize me too? Why was he so calm? He must’ve forgotten who I was maybe he was just saying “hi” to be nice. I continue my walk and my phone conversation half listening as I rack my brain trying to figure out who he is and when we met.

Then it hit me. I listened to my friend ramble on about all the fun we were going to have that night. She had no idea that I had already ditched our night in my head. I had made plans in case she flaked on my again and my mind had finally got things straight. I knew where that smile was from and it was for me. We had unfinished business. We were destined to meet again.

Fear, The Motivator

Fear can be the greatest motivator. I’ve let fear hold me back for quite some time. Ever since I can remember I’ve been reading and writing. I’ve always walked around carrying books. One to write in and one to read. I’ve always loved to create my own world and get lost in worlds that others have created. I’ve also loved science not exactly related but I loved it nonetheless. It is now that I am thinking over my life do I realize that I’ve held this fear that writing should be a secret love while I keep my love for science out in the open.

I’ve been under the impression that I couldn’t be a successful writer. As much as I love post on this blog and as much as I love to create my own stories.  Fear was the motivator for me to pursue science in college and not creative writing as I wanted to. Fear is the reason why I have yet to post a complete story since my first and only complete story was published.  Fear kept me scared that my dreams could change and I wasn’t prepared for that.

I’m working to overcome that fear. I want to start posting more creative pieces on this blog along with my health posts. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m changing the site. I am changing but I’m not take away from anything. I’m just adding to it.

I’m not afraid to say I’m not sure what my dreams are. I would love to get my PhD in Chemical Engineering but I would also love to have the freedom of a writer. I have a lot of work to do and a lot to think about.

Marley and Asher (cont.)

If you’ve looked at my short stories page then you know I have a couple stories on there that aren’t finished. I’m working on Marley and Asher. I didn’t like this one at first but I stuck with it. It’s not finished but please comment below… I want to know that you think.

Why am I so sad? It’s like the tears have their own agenda. They know what I can’t tell myself and they’re taking the pain I refuse to feel with them. I can’t stop these tears, whatever was holding them back is gone and now all there’s two streams running down my face and falling off my chin. These tears are determined to escape and I’m helpless to stop them. I can’t do anything but cry for these unknown causes or do I know what I’m crying for and I’m just too pained to acknowledge it. I’m hiding in the bathroom sitting on the toilet running water in the sink so that he doesn’t here the sobs I’m helpless to stop. I cry and sob and after a couple minutes they’ve calmed enough that I wipe my tears and return to my living room.

As soon as I get down the stairs and Asher sees me. My little almond shaped eyes have betrayed my activities as I meet his green eyed gaze. He stands to his full height of 6’ 3” to tower over my muscular 5’ 6” frame.

“What’s wrong?” He asks

“Nothing” I say. I try to move past him and reclaim my spot on the couch but he grabs me before I can sit.

“Marley, what’s wrong?” He asks again. I look into his eyes but I can’t answer him. How can I tell him what’s wrong when I, myself do not know?

“Nothing” I say again and lay my head on his shoulder. I shouldn’t have done that. As soon as my head comfortably rests against his shoulders my eyes flood, the streams start, and the tears falls. I can’t hold this in any longer I need to tell him. He would understand. I open my mouth to tell him but I can’t speak. Only sobs escape.

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asks turning around to face me and leaving me to lift my head before it fell into his lap. “Marley what’s wrong? You’re scaring me I’ve never seen you like this.”

I wonder if I told him would he still want to be with me would he still love me. I can’t look myself in the mirror right now. I shouldn’t be with anyone, I need to be alone.

“Asher, I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I finally say. I can’t look him the eye or I might change my mind. I can’t do this to him. I’m dirty now and it’s not fair of me to stay with him pretending to be the same girl I was two days ago.

“What do you mean?” He asks, his eyes shining with tears of his own.

“I mean that we aren’t working out and I want you out of my house now.” I say with a little more confidence. I need him to leave and never come back. I’m not worthy.

“Marley you don’t mean that. We’re engaged. Our wedding is in three months and you want to end it just like that? Why?” He asks as his voice breaks and I almost break down and tell him the truth. I’m doing this for him. He’ll be glad when he meets someone else that’s not me.

“If you’re not out of here in the next 30 seconds, I’m calling the cops.” I say coldly and I  meet his eyes for just a moment, any longer and I would’ve lost my nerve. I get up and walk towards the door to open it for him. He follows me and walks out as soon as I have the door open wide enough. I close the door before he can turn around and change my mind. Asher is the love of my life but I’ve learned in the last couple days that love isn’t for me. I don’t deserve it.

I go back to the bathroom and start my third shower of the day. I know I’m clean but I can’t help but feel there’s a layer there that I can’t see but I can feel and it has to go. I scrub my skin raw and I finally get out and step into my pink robe and matching slippers. I check the bathroom window to make sure it’s locked. I go around the house checking my windows and doors. I go to the kitchen to check the windows and doors and I grab a knife to put under my pillow. I need Asher because he would never let anything happen to me until the one day something did.

I really don’t think I can sleep alone…

How do you start a great story with no motivation?

I have never been able to consistently write when I’m in a good mood. When I was in middle school I could write everyday because I was so “sad” and most of the things I wrote about then are so trivial now. I have at least six beginnings to stories but no middle and no end. I want to start working on a book or a collection of short stories. I can’t do that with no material but I can’t have new material with no motivation. I love when I finish stories but it is so freaking hard to get started. Sheesh! I’m always worried about it being so much like something else that I kill every idea I have before I even put pen to paper. I’ve come up with an idea for writers block. I’m pretty sure it’s not new and I’m not claiming rights.

1. If you have a writer friend get them involved, it’s much easier to go at this with a partner.

2. Start working on something, anything today.

3. Pick a day where you submit your work to each other and also you have to agree upon a minimum or maximum length.

4. Do this every week until you have your poem, story, or book.

If this helps let me know. I’ll be doing the same thing starting today. I have a writer friend named Katie and our reign of zero motivation has come to an end.

My Hair Journey…The Video

Image representing YouTube as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I have finally used my movie maker to make my first YouTube Video. I was so excited to do it because I tried to do one before and I failed by like they say “Try, try and try again.” Luckily I only got to the second “try” before I got what I was looking for.

Hello world!

I recently moved my blog from Blogger to WordPress. My blog is about my life and the journey that I’m on right now. Currently I’m transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair and it’s been almost a year. When I first began this journey I was not going to do a big chop but as my natural hair gets longer it frustrates me more and more to try and do styles and blend the textures. So right now I’m thinking of doing my BC at the end of the year but as the days go on I keep eyeing my scissors with the intention of going after my relaxed ends.

Also I tend to write things unrelated to my life like stories and poems. I really want to share that as well. So subscribe and like. I’ll do my best to talk about everything.

My favorite protective style the halo twist.